“Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,
For love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord.
Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.”
Song of Solomon 8:6-7
I am reminded today that love is such a powerful emotion. “Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.” I know that I do not even remotely understand the concept or true depth of love, and I think a person’s definition of love changes through different phases of life. I also know that if you believe that you are in love with someone in a dating relationship, that you want to experience intimacy with that person because it seems natural since you care about each other so much.
A good way to keep sexual purity a priority even in that relationship filled with love is to remember that God created sex for marriage. And God created sex to be a Holy act to bond two people uniting as one in marriage to glorify Him.
Another way to think of remaining pure with the one you love is that in a way, God created sex to be such a highly powerful feeling of intimacy with someone and it is such a wonderful blessing in the context of marriage. And, by taking advantage of that blessing outside of marriage, we are taking what is supposed to be beautiful and compromising it. If you really love someone with deep, sincere, and compassionate love, you want them to experience a truly beautiful thing with their wife one day, and he should want the same for you with your future husband. In first Corinthians it says love is patient. It is not self-seeking. Love always protects. It always perseveres. Be patient to be intimate with the one you love. Do not be self-seeking in your desires; put the best interest of the one you love above you. Protect your love by following God’s plan for you. Finally, persevere to remain pure until marriage.
I know I’ve dropped the s bomb a few times, and you are probably getting tired of reading about why sex is wrong when you aren’t married, so I will move on. Intimacy means so much more than sex. Intimacy includes quality time and conversations as well as physical touch. You can express intimacy for someone you love in ways other than sex. But, it is also important that you pace yourself and keep in mind that anything you experience with your current boyfriend is something that you won’t be able to experience for the first time with your husband.
For example, it has become a new trend for couples to spend the night with one another without actually having sex. I know that two people who are really in love want to know everything about that person and feel really connected to them, but they do not want to have sex until marriage. They think that it is possible to spend hours upon hours in an intimate setting with the man they love without physically crossing their boundaries. However, don’t you think sleeping in the same bed with someone and waking up next to them will make the temptation of sex 1,000 times harder? I do not mean to sound critical or judgmental when I say this, but I just know my own strength to remain pure in that situation would be very little. I think if you are determined to remain pure, you should make every concession possible to avoid situations where mistakes are likely to happen. Also, besides the fact that the temptations will be raised in that scenario, don’t you think it will be a wonderful experience when the first man you wake up next to is your husband the morning after your wedding? Some situations like this are intimate even though you are not having sex, and they will be so special in the context of marriage. I say all of this not to condemn, but to inspire you to think carefully about the decisions you are making in your relationship and to decide what you would like to save for your marriage. Even if you have made mistakes in the past, it is never too late to reclaim your purity from God.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
So, that is something to think about today.
God bless you!