As I have said in a previous post, I am currently reading the book How to Find Your Soulmate Without Losing Your Soul by Jason and Crystalina Evert. I am going to quote a specific chapter from the book because it applies to so many of us and I think it is really helpful to keep us on track to stay pure.
The chapter is titled “Set Your Standards and Don’t Settle for Less” and it talks about making up your mind about who you want in a potential marriage partner and not settling for anything less in a dating relationship on how you should be respected. As Crystalina states in the chapter, sometimes women are so desperate for love and attention, we lower our standards because we think we set them too high to find anyone.
A lot of times, it is easy to forget why we are remaining pure and why sex outside of marriage is not the best choice for us. Just rememberthat by abstaining from sex outside of marriage, you are building a “castle around your heart” as Crystalina says, and “unless a guy is man enough to ascend the wall, he has no chance of being with her.” I think thissentence from her book explains just one of the many good reasons to abstain from sexual immorality. You are guarding your heart, setting the standards high, so that when you do meet the man you are supposed to be with, you will be treated with respect and pure love that means so much more than superficial, physical based love.
Also in this chapter, Chrystalina talks about making a list of qualities you want your future husband to have. I know… Cheesy, right? However, I swallowed my prideful criticisms and gave this a try. It actually really helps you to see what you are looking for in a man. It also reminds you of what you want, and that you shouldn’t settle for less than a Godly man that willrespect you. A few examples of the list Chrystalina provided in the book are as follows:
- I want him to be my best friend.
- He needs to love God more than he loves me.
- Instead of bringing out my weaknesses, he brings out my dignity.
- He’s kind and gentle with me.
- He builds me up and does not wear me down.
- He treats his mom with love.
- Besides respecting me, he respects himself.
- I want him to have strong morals so I don’t need to convince him of mine.
I just got so much out of every single item in that list, and it gave me motivation to make my own list and set my standards high so I can have a great relationship someday with the man of my dreams. I know, cheesy, cheesy, cheesy. But, I challenge you todayto make a list of your own and see how it impacts your thoughts about who you want to end up with.
I know this is a long post, but seriously this book is incredible so I just want to write everything down here so you can experience it too. I strongly, strongly recommend the book if you get a chance. Thanks for reading!